Starting to Recover

I'll be honest. I didn't know what I needed to recover from. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm not hooked on drugs. What do I need recovery from?

My husband has a passion for those that are struggling with addictions and hurts in life. So one of the first ministries our new church did was Celebrate Recovery. I said that I would help lead the women's groups but I struggled so hard in what I was recovering from. I'm humble enough to admit that everyone has issues that they need to rise up from, but what specifically was mine?

I walked by the table with some of our flyers on it. I randomly picked up one and began to read the description. As I read each one, I began to feel like they wrote it just for me. Relief set in when I found a couple that didn't describe me, but overall this was me on the flyer. I was co-dependent.

So much of my life was dictated by other people. My husband is ADD. Our whole marriage has been me reacting to his disorganization and forgetfulness. Though I didn't have to have his approval before doing things or craved his attention, I did allow his actions to dictate my life. To take it further we both were co-dependent on our families. How many times our lives were pressured to change schedules or to appear somewhere despite the hardships placed on us is unimaginable?  The guilt trips placed for not visiting so many times and the pressure to have fifty Christmas gifts despite being broke were all the time. So many issues in our marriage arose because of this. The end result? I needed to recover from co-dependency which led to many other issues such as anger, bitterness, and depression that I needed to recover from.

I realized that my problem over the years was losing my identity.  Who am I?  Am I just the wife, daughter, in-law, or sister?  Do I even exist?

This is my road to recovery and to be a better person. Join me as I go down the road.