Join Me on a Journey

My church began a 12 step program called Celebrate Recovery. At first I was like so many that thought that this was only for alcoholism and drug addiction. How wrong I was! This program addresses everything you can possibly imagine. It is applicable to every person. We all have something to recover from even it is just plain old pride. Join me in my journey to recover from co-dependency and any thing else I will happen to discover on this journey.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Recoverying Multitudes

I've discovered since I began this program that everyone has more than one thing to recover from. You might initially begin the program for your drinking problem, but along the way you discover so many others that you need to address.

I began with needing to recover from my temper. I discovered as I went through the questions that the anger was only a symptom. It still needed to be addressed, but if I didn't work on the cause (co-dependency) then it would never really go away or get under control.

Having multiple things to recover from is not bad. You are not an evil person beyond hope because of it. A drug addict probably has a drinking problem, swearing problem, temper problem. The list could go on and on. You'll find yourself at different steps of the recovery, too which is alright. You can attend multiple step studies!

Check out Celebrate Recovery and what it can do for you!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Defining CoDependency #2

A few days after receiving the shock that I was co-dependent, I went on to read description number two.

My good feelings about myself stem from others opinions about me. 
Boy, did that describe me. Granted, I'm not a yes person who cannot do anything without seeking approval, but the need to have that approval is strong in my life.  There are so many days in which I would leave a family gathering in tears because my cooking wasn't good enough, that my actions with my kids were criticized, that I didn't seem to do anything right. I would be depressed for days. I was co-dependent for sure.
It took a weekend in which I was constantly criticized for everything I did. They even went so far as to say that I needed to see a shrink to take care of my unresolved issues. I was so angry at God for forcing me to stay through the visit and for not pointing out to them that their actions were mean and hurtful. that fight with Him lasted 2 hours. It was an emotional 2 hours. At the end of it, guess who won?
God pointed out to me that I cannot change other people. I cannot change their actions, thoughts, or beliefs. I do not have the power. But I can change me. I can become a better person without needing their approval. I just need God's.
Today? I still get hurt when my cooking is criticized or something I have poured my whole heart into is ignored or downplayed, but in the end it doesn't effect me much. I look to God and His guidance over theirs. My sense of value comes from Him and Him alone.