Defining CoDependency #2

A few days after receiving the shock that I was co-dependent, I went on to read description number two.

My good feelings about myself stem from others opinions about me. 

Boy, did that describe me. Granted, I'm not a yes person who cannot do anything without seeking approval, but the need to have that approval is strong in my life.  There are so many days in which I would leave a family gathering in tears because my cooking wasn't good enough, that my actions with my kids were criticized, that I didn't seem to do anything right. I would be depressed for days. I was co-dependent for sure.

It took a weekend in which I was constantly criticized for everything I did. They even went so far as to say that I needed to see a shrink to take care of my unresolved issues. I was so angry at God for forcing me to stay through the visit and for not pointing out to them that their actions were mean and hurtful. that fight with Him lasted 2 hours. It was an emotional 2 hours. At the end of it, guess who won?

God pointed out to me that I cannot change other people. I cannot change their actions, thoughts, or beliefs. I do not have the power. But I can change me. I can become a better person without needing their approval. I just need God's.

Today? I still get hurt when my cooking is criticized or something I have poured my whole heart into is ignored or downplayed, but in the end it doesn't effect me much. I look to God and His guidance over theirs. My sense of value comes from Him and Him alone.