Can Co-Dependency be Forced on Someone?

If you've been following along, you will know that I suffer from co-dependency. Acknowledging it is the first step of recovery, but what if the world is out to stop you?

My co-dependency is with my husband who is ADD and my family on both sides. I finally realized what was happening and began the Celebrate Recovery program. I've been doing good, but I've been getting frustrated. No matter how hard I try to get out from under this burden, it seems that the world is out to stop me. Now, I'm realistic to know that there is always a way out but at the moment I think that I'm too caught up in it to see it.

I need to be more organized yet just when a day arrives that I've got it all together we are called to a four hour meeting. Now I am three days behind on my house chores, work projects, and need to catch up with the kids' work. So, I take the next day. Low and behold, a phone call comes. There is an emergency and we have to come. It is an emergency and we go. The next day is finally THE day to breath and take care of our responsibilities that are being ignored. A phone call comes from a friend we have not spoken to in years. Then someone drops by and stays for a few hours to visit. There goes that day again.

This is where I personally begin to pull my hair out. I'm constantly criticized about the condition of my house. it is never clean enough. I forget things. Well, I can't get the house clean because my job demands some time from me, the emergencies pop up and we cannot avoid them, how do you tell someone to go away when they come for a visit. Some of the same people who criticize me are the reason that I cannot seem to get it done.

It seems that my co-dependency is forced on me. I know that I have a choice, but so many times I really don't. I was called into a meeting yesterday that I tried to get out of because I did have some very important things that needed to be addressed. I was told that in no uncertain terms that I had to be there. End of discussion. Now, I did find out that I had to be there, but now I'm even more behind in my other responsibilities.

I think that I'm beginning to see where I need an outside person to help direct me when I'm too much in the middle of it all and cannot see it. I had that long meeting that was mandatory and my son is now angry that we have to do things today that we should have done yesterday. Not my fault, yet I end up dealing with the fallout and have to try to piece it all back together. That's where I lose it. The co-dependency then becomes my life. I am always at the mercy of everyone else's schedule and moods. My schedule has to come second and my moods are the issues.

See what co-dependency is? It leads many people to drinking and using drugs. They feel like they have no place to go. They feel like there is no way out. And to be honest I feel like that most of the time. But I do know that there is a way out. I've got to give more of the issue to God and let Him guide me. I'm told too much by the world and the family that I have to be the one in control and get all this done. Yet, I have to admit that I am powerless and only God has the power to save me.

Please save me, God. I want to know that I am a person that You love and care for instead of the person that belongs to everyone around me. I need to know that I can follow my calling and not be the mother or slave to others. I need to focus more on You. Please help me. Show me where I can make that time to grow closer to You. Show me where I can say no and not disrupt the universe. Show me when to submit and when to object. Show me where You want me to go and not where others do.