Still Trying to Understand

I'm trying to hard to understand how to recover from co-dependency when it seems forced on me.  Most of the testimonies I have found revolve around alcohol and drug recovery.  The few that I have found that involve co-dependency are mainly those spouses our children of alcoholics and drug addicts.  I am not finding anyone who is trying to recover from being married to an ADD spouse.

This is really hard for me as I try to understand how I can get through it all.  I try to go through the steps but I keep finding my life in chaos as he makes decisions without thinking and lives in the moment.  I can see the bridge is out ahead of us but what do I do?  If I yell and try to pull him back, we fight and I get depressed.  If I don't say anything we fall into the canyon.

I remember one testimony in which a wife was recovering from co-dependency with a husband who cheated on her and was a huge alcoholic.  She always felt that if her husband would change all would be well.  She just didn't realize that she needed to change, too.  I feel like that.  But the difference is I know that I need to change, but it is hard when you do not see the other one attempting to change.

Does ADD win?  Do I just give in and my change and recovery involves letting the ADD have complete control?  That is where I feel lost.

We do see a counselor to help him with his ADD.  Where I struggle is that once we leave the office, he forgets about we are to work on and goes back to his normal way of living.  How can I get over my co-dependency when I see no way?

I am not going to give up on my recovery.  This program is wonderful and I am learning so much.  It is great and I would recommend it for anyone.  I just wish I could find more that were in my situation.