1st Step

I need to first face my denials. That can be hard. Since I'm already denying it, it is obvious that I don't want to face it. When I do that, I see my flaws.

We all have issues. One woman began to come to our recovery meetings and many of her answers and comments struck me as odd. Her words were that she had nothing to recover from and was here to learn to talk to addicts. As we got to know her, she needed to recover from pride and a judgmental attitude.

I denied my co-dependency for years. Maybe because I didn't have a name for it. I just pointed out the other people's roles in bringing chaos to my life. Now, they were doing that. If they weren't and I wasn't letting them, I wouldn't be co-dependent. My key word here is "letting". I realized that I was letting them walk over me and control me even though I fought it. I had to come to a point where I knew that I wasn't the one to control it all and they certainly weren't.

Because of my denials, I don't have good relationships with many of the people who controlled me. I fought with them. I argued with them. But because I thought it was supposed to be me in control, it was wrong. Now, we still have confrontations. But now I do it biblically. I seek God's Word. I let them know that I follow Him and not their earthly opinions and desires.

I'm on the road to recovery!