Defining Co-dependence #1

I never thought that I was co-dependent until I read one of the flyers from Celebrate Recovery.

The first description was "My good feelings about who I am stem from being loved by you."

I have to admit that I didn't jump up and claim that this described me. Do I desire to be loved? Yes. Would knowing that my husband didn't love me devastate me? Yes. So I was ready to skip that description. But then I took it past my immediate family and hit the emotional brick wall.

So much of my self-esteem hung on the approval of my extended family including the in-laws. I was always trying to be accepted and loved. I would try to dress a certain way to get the approval. I would fix my hair a certain way. I tried to learn to cook better. I tried to be good at SOMETHING to get that pat on the back. And always failing. Depression would set in.

Oh, my. I can say yes to the first one. I do depend too much on others' approval for my self-worth.

I did not want to go on to the next one. This was devastating enough to me. I was never going to be good enough for any of them so why keep trying. I only need to please God and He cares about my heart and not about appearances.

Growing up is painful.